I was decapitated in a car accident. At church the lady next to me noticed my condition and asked if I would like prayer. I gave her the thumbs up sign. 30 minutes later I grew a new head. It was a miracle! There was even a video of the whole process (but it got overwritten accidentally with a cat video). But it obviously really happened because how else could I have written this message with no head?
One of the biggest reasons to doubt this, besides the obvious, is the fact that any video evidence of this would be the ultimate advertisement for Christianity and would no doubt convert millions more people to the faith, who would then attend the church services. And growing their congregation is the ultimate goal (which means a lot more power and money). With that in mind, and considering the fact that virtually everyone has a portable recording device these days, there's just no excuse to not get these supposed miracles on video, especially one that purportedly lasted a span of 30 minutes. No way a church would miss out on that opportunity unless they were full of sh!t.
Wow. I went to this church when I was in college (back when I still bought the whole “god” story.) The have a “healing” segment at every service where they anoint people with “holy oil” from vials bearing the church logo. They would always list off the “miracles” that had been performed at last week’s service (cancer cured, etc). Even being a “Christian” at the time I remember thinking it was all so fake. It’s just wild that people buy this garbage at all.
And you scoffing atheists claim that God never heals amputees! Well, here you go. What more evidence do you need than the testimony of an honest, God-fearing woman?
Honestly, every man and his dog has a camera on the phone these days, but nobody thought to take photos or video? What a missed opportunity – if it actually happened it might even have converted me.
Skepticism is a rare and important virtue. It's not the stubborn refusal to believe something, and it's not cynicism. Skepticism is the willingness to withhold belief until acceptable evidence is presented. The Greek root means "to look." Show me.
Would that we all practiced consistent skepticism in all claims, big and small, not just outrageously absurd claims like the woman's toes growing back.
Unfortunately, "truth" does not mean to the believers in this story what truth means to most of us reading this blog. For us, truth is a synonym for reality. For us, truth/reality is verified by observation using the five senses and the application of reason.
For these Christians, truth is whatever makes them believe in their god more. It is verified for them by the euphoric reaction of their brains to stimuli that tells them that something they fervently hope for is real. It feels great, so it must be true. Endorphin intoxication.
These two epistemologies are utterly different. If you were to draw a Venn diagram of them, they'd be two circles at opposite edges of a piece of paper, with lots of blank space in between. You can't employ one without violating the other.
Yet Christians like these in the post switch back and forth between these two epistemologies all the time. Just the very mundane act of getting across a busy highway uses the method of sensory verification and reason, and a thousand other incidents every day, many of which can be of life-or-death importance. BUT when it comes to their religion, they switch to "Truth B." The switch is seamless and it produces no cognitive dissonance, no discomfort arising from the contradiction. That's because they carefully avoid looking at their methods too closely. They don't think about how they think. That same truth-is-whatever-makes-me-feel-good has overwhelmed our political forums as well, and we are on a collision course with material reality coming at us like a runaway freight train. It's gonna hurt.
So... not to be "that one commenter" or anything... and, far be it from me to cast aspersions on the intellect of such a fine, upstanding Christian lady, but...
...are we completely sure that she had ever tried looking 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 before the "miracle" in question?
In a related story, a person in Grand Junction, CO with stage III colon cancer was miraculously advanced to stage IV after chemotherapy failed. God denied any involvement.
True story: I was trimming my pubic hair with a razor and - wouldn't you know - in a slip of my hand I cut my balls off. I immediately consulted with a moyle (a rabbi who specializes in circumcisions), figuring that he was an expert. "Oy veh," he said followed by "I can be of no help." He suggested I see a doctor.
"Doctors. What do they know?"
Finally, I reached out to cousin Abe, a Jew for Jesus. We prayed and prayed and prayed together. I think we overdid it because I now have orbs each the size of a grapefruit. I think that I'll require the services of that moyle.
I was decapitated in a car accident. At church the lady next to me noticed my condition and asked if I would like prayer. I gave her the thumbs up sign. 30 minutes later I grew a new head. It was a miracle! There was even a video of the whole process (but it got overwritten accidentally with a cat video). But it obviously really happened because how else could I have written this message with no head?
One of the biggest reasons to doubt this, besides the obvious, is the fact that any video evidence of this would be the ultimate advertisement for Christianity and would no doubt convert millions more people to the faith, who would then attend the church services. And growing their congregation is the ultimate goal (which means a lot more power and money). With that in mind, and considering the fact that virtually everyone has a portable recording device these days, there's just no excuse to not get these supposed miracles on video, especially one that purportedly lasted a span of 30 minutes. No way a church would miss out on that opportunity unless they were full of sh!t.
Wow. I went to this church when I was in college (back when I still bought the whole “god” story.) The have a “healing” segment at every service where they anoint people with “holy oil” from vials bearing the church logo. They would always list off the “miracles” that had been performed at last week’s service (cancer cured, etc). Even being a “Christian” at the time I remember thinking it was all so fake. It’s just wild that people buy this garbage at all.
And you scoffing atheists claim that God never heals amputees! Well, here you go. What more evidence do you need than the testimony of an honest, God-fearing woman?
Honestly, every man and his dog has a camera on the phone these days, but nobody thought to take photos or video? What a missed opportunity – if it actually happened it might even have converted me.
Skepticism is a rare and important virtue. It's not the stubborn refusal to believe something, and it's not cynicism. Skepticism is the willingness to withhold belief until acceptable evidence is presented. The Greek root means "to look." Show me.
Would that we all practiced consistent skepticism in all claims, big and small, not just outrageously absurd claims like the woman's toes growing back.
Unfortunately, "truth" does not mean to the believers in this story what truth means to most of us reading this blog. For us, truth is a synonym for reality. For us, truth/reality is verified by observation using the five senses and the application of reason.
For these Christians, truth is whatever makes them believe in their god more. It is verified for them by the euphoric reaction of their brains to stimuli that tells them that something they fervently hope for is real. It feels great, so it must be true. Endorphin intoxication.
These two epistemologies are utterly different. If you were to draw a Venn diagram of them, they'd be two circles at opposite edges of a piece of paper, with lots of blank space in between. You can't employ one without violating the other.
Yet Christians like these in the post switch back and forth between these two epistemologies all the time. Just the very mundane act of getting across a busy highway uses the method of sensory verification and reason, and a thousand other incidents every day, many of which can be of life-or-death importance. BUT when it comes to their religion, they switch to "Truth B." The switch is seamless and it produces no cognitive dissonance, no discomfort arising from the contradiction. That's because they carefully avoid looking at their methods too closely. They don't think about how they think. That same truth-is-whatever-makes-me-feel-good has overwhelmed our political forums as well, and we are on a collision course with material reality coming at us like a runaway freight train. It's gonna hurt.
So... not to be "that one commenter" or anything... and, far be it from me to cast aspersions on the intellect of such a fine, upstanding Christian lady, but...
...are we completely sure that she had ever tried looking 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 before the "miracle" in question?
In a related story, a person in Grand Junction, CO with stage III colon cancer was miraculously advanced to stage IV after chemotherapy failed. God denied any involvement.
Eric, the God-Eating Penguin!
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d00ff9fd4801d9bb532d4b96111cbe5ed8759597f45bd40b74164b12a579466.jpg
“Save the housewife, save the world.”
Next time on Zeroes.
True story: I was trimming my pubic hair with a razor and - wouldn't you know - in a slip of my hand I cut my balls off. I immediately consulted with a moyle (a rabbi who specializes in circumcisions), figuring that he was an expert. "Oy veh," he said followed by "I can be of no help." He suggested I see a doctor.
"Doctors. What do they know?"
Finally, I reached out to cousin Abe, a Jew for Jesus. We prayed and prayed and prayed together. I think we overdid it because I now have orbs each the size of a grapefruit. I think that I'll require the services of that moyle.
"It only took 30 minutes"
Or her next one was free.
Ok. She... but... wait. Ok. Deep breath. Ok. Nope. I need a drink.
*Prepare the stopwatch on her phone and start to pray*
Rendez-vous dans 30 minutes 😁
I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin show!
Miracles are always also bullshit.